• Lady Snowblood

    Lady Snowblood

    She bears the weight of karma
    As she walks gazing straight ahead 
    Embracing the darkness

  • The House That Jack Built

    The House That Jack Built

    This is a Lars von Trier film so it’s safe to expect his usual shtick; exhausting levels of nihilistic naval gazing, boundary pushing cruelty, etc etc. Outside of Dogville, I find most of his work a slog. But having just watched and appreciated Dogville, I figured why not give his films another go. The House That Jack Built is mostly comprised of Trier’s pitch black philosophy of art and humanity, essentially him conversing with himself for the runtime, but what redeems…

  • Stalker

    Stalker

    I’m going to let this one marinate in my mind.

  • Predatory Lender

    Predatory Lender

    A weird ass intro followed by 5 minutes of credits featuring cleavage let’s you know out the gate that this is going to be a long and wacky 80ish minutes. It’s a 2008 financial crash period piece comedy drama serial killer buddy cop revenge film??? Shout out to the blonde boxing match/scam refereed by Colonel Sanders. The villain’s terrible southern drawl is only rivaled by trying to hide his already horrible southern accent with a German one. Also man, there’s…

  • Everything Everywhere All at Once

    Everything Everywhere All at Once

    ★★★★★

    Something about the way this was marketed as “the best multiverse movie” gave me a bad feeling. That perhaps the last 14 years of Marvel/Disney’s factory farmed movie products have irrevocably damaged the viewing public. That maybe the only way we’ll watch something new is if it’s packaged like something we already recognize. My fears were unfounded. Everything Everywhere All At Once is a beautiful & original work of art unlike anything I’ve ever seen. I kept waiting for this to not…

  • Ms .45

    Ms .45

    Kiss the bullet

  • Anthropophagous

    Anthropophagous

    Ride the cheap ass euro-trash waves into cannibalistic gore town. The grim, repulsive violence makes it clear why this one made the Video Nasty list back in the day. Snuff though? Nah. It's italian sleeze on the cheap with youths getting ripped to shreds. Didn't know there was an infamous scene until I was witnessing it and MAMA MIA!!!!!! There's lots of dull stretches filled with excellent eerie moog ambiance which I could see as being a draw depending on…

  • Valhalla Rising

    Valhalla Rising

    Dirty men staring into the middle distance with momentary bursts of violence. This was a lot more dull than I anticipated. Refn’s cinematic hypno-drone doesn’t work for me at all in this dreary Christian warriors in the woods setting, making the 93 minute runtime feel glacial in pace. My least favorite of his work.

  • The Northman

    The Northman

    ★★★★½

    Extremely my shit. 

    'Be this the whetstone of your sword. Let grief Convert to anger. Blunt not the heart, enrage it.' – Malcolm (Act IV, Scene III; Macbeth)

  • Trauma

    Trauma

    Easily the funniest Argento film I’ve seen. The Italian Absurdist Antics are cranked to the max for Trauma, a film about anorexia, seances, motherhood, geckos, and angry butterfly collector children. There are lots of beheadings that made me wonder if Cormac McCarthy watched this film while writing The Counselor. David and Aura are absolute nutcases who run around Minnesota screaming at each other as they try to discover the identity of a decapitation obsessed & rain loving serial killer. When it…

  • Come to Daddy

    Come to Daddy

    Hilarious freak shit best experienced blind. Came for Elijah Wood's haircut and Stephen McHattie, but was given so much more weirdo gold. Shout out to the geologists.

  • Necropolis

    Necropolis

    The digital transfer of this I saw must have been taken from a VHS tape that had been ripped from 10 other transfers. Blurry and shot with a block of cheese with the film stock grated on the cutting room floor. There’s some good goofball Satan witch vampire goth vibes and a 80s synth expected soundtrack. Wish there was more motorcycle pagan action and less ominous reverb-heavy high heel strutting. Detective Soft Lips & Coroner Sassy are welcome weirdo flavors that…