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  • Assassination Nation

    Assassination Nation

    ★½

    some Tumblr kid with 'intersectional feminist' in their bio and a flower crown edit of Hannibal as their phone background: [watches Only God Forgives and all four Purge movies after getting a rude reblog on one of their posts from a guy with a Kekistan flag pfp] [makes this]

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  • The Man with the Iron Fists

    The Man with the Iron Fists

    ★★★½

    dope practical effects in the beginning, wish they'd kept that energy through the whole film. never seen a proper kung fu movie before actually so no idea how this compares (probably sucks) but I had a good time

  • The Horde

    The Horde

    ★★★★½

    has a bit of a slow start but once it gets rolling it's nonstop brutality from start to finish. one of the most fascinatingly unpleasant horror movies I've seen in awhile (THIS is how to do fast zombies, take note). so many headbutts

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  • Incel

    Incel

    ½

    can we end this 'incels are just spergs who need a friend' meme? also imagine making a movie about incels where the focus is the extremely minute possibility that they may become mass shooters (yeah, I've heard of Elliot Rodgers! we've all heard of Elliot Rodgers! you're doing an Elliot Rodgers thing in your movie? spooky! edgy! gripping!), rather than the very real and very widespread misogyny, sexual perversion, and pedophilia inherent to these communities. great job getting basically no…

  • Marriage Story

    Marriage Story

    ★★

    the only reasons people seem to be giving this 4.5s and 5s:

    - their parents went through a divorce or they had a messy breakup and it's #relatable
    - they had low expectations for a Noah Baumbach movie and were pleasantly surprised he exceeded them
    - they were impressed by Scarlett Johansson being not terrible this time
    - they're horny for Adam Driver

    none of you will remember this movie in 3 months

    edit: it's been less than 3 months and this is no longer on the Letterboxd Top 250. @ all my haters get rekt