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  • Four Eyed Monsters

    Four Eyed Monsters

    ★½

    Weird that a mumblecore movie about Myspace would wind up feeling so incredibly dated, you know....?

    Look, here's what it is: you can do your hyperstylized "Just out of film school" art project, you can do your low budget super quirky indie romance, or you can do your zero budget, masturbatory, mini-DV mumblecore personal exploration. Such is the remit of the young, inexperienced creative.

    But when you try to do all three at once, you're basically begging for people to…

  • American Assassin

    American Assassin

    ★★★

    Feels exactly like the airport paperback novel it is. Whether that's a plus or a minus is up to you, but I will also say that no movie in the history of film has ever been lessened by the presence of Michael Keaton.

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  • Cheeky

    Cheeky

    ★★

    I shouldn't do it.

    I absolutely should not be trying to analyze this movie, because it's basically semicore porn.

    (For those who don't know this term I just made up, 'semicore' means all the onscreen sex is softcore, but there are a shitload of erect penises just hanging... well, not hanging, exactly... about. You're welcome, friends)

    But seeing as how Tinto Brass (the director) is clearly using this movie as a polemic to espouse his unifying theory of mankind, I…

  • The Hitcher

    The Hitcher

    ★★★★

    I'm not entirely sure this movie makes any sense whatsoever.

    Could not matter less. Rutger Hauer is the God damned devil in this one.

    Highly recommended.