I don't feel sorry for sad rich people who made shit personal choices/bad cishet white male writers who have a martyr complex. Not even a tiny bit. You have a kajillion dollars, go buy yourself a Ferrari and a hundred bottles of Moët and a Fortune 500 company or whatever rich people do and get over it. Also, the beginning is fatphobic (say what you will about supposed empowerment but the gaze of the camera and the conversations about her…

If you want a horror film to be frightening, you have to make your audience care about the characters who are experiencing the horror. You need to be able to empathize with their pain. The characters in this film are awful, insufferable douchebags, so you kind of want them to die by the end. In that way, this film totally fails from a horror standpoint.

I'm not afraid of people in weird clown masks dancing to 1930's music, and I'm…

I should probably preface this review by admitting I knew I was going to love this movie before I actually saw it; once you get to a certain point, after you've watched so many films, you start to get a good idea of what you're into, what kind of cast you look for, the telltale hints of stylistic choices you prefer. My success rate calling my like or dislike of a film is probably around 85% at this point. David…

"Women want love to be a novel, men a short story." Daphne du Maurier.

Of all the genres that be, the gothic is my favorite. It's probably the most difficult to describe or pin down--it has an innate abstractness that is crucial to the form, and is based in subtle emotional cues and carefully orchestrated mis en scene rather than traditional exposition. Gothicism is related to horror in that it wonders at the miseries inherent in existence, and the mysteries…