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  • A Cure for Wellness

    A Cure for Wellness

    HOO BOY, THAT IS GONNA BE A HARD NO FROM ME.

    I don't really have any desire to write much about this film, because I already wasted 2.5 hours of my life on it and frankly I resent that, but this film is stupid, offensive bullshit, it's way too fucking long and a fucking mess (this thing needed a sharp, brutal editor, and apparently the two dudes who edited this trash fire were not up to the task--it's about a…

  • The Mummy

    The Mummy

    ★★

    Tommy doesn't belong here at all. Why is he here? I love Tommy, don't misunderstand me. Tommy can be evil, mesmerizing, seductive. But there is no reason for him to be here. This should be Sofia Boutella's movie, and it should be rated R, and it should be dark, gothic and brooding like Johnston's Wolfman movie. It should not have horrible attempts at humor that made me grimace (Tommy is just not funny, okay, he needs to stick to stunts,…

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  • Blade Runner 2049

    Blade Runner 2049

    ★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    A preface to my review (please read this, thanks): at the beginning and the end of the screener I attended, my fellow critics and I were read a statement by Villenueve (at the beginning) and a list (at the end) of things he requested we not discuss in our reviews about the innerworkings of this film, namely, virtually every major plot point. If I recall correctly, his reasoning was he wished all moviegoers to see this organically, without knowing the…

  • It

    It

    ★★★★

    If there's a lingering, vague sense of disappointment regarding this film lurking somewhere in my soul, it's due to the fact that the first half of Muschietti's vision (yes, this is part one of two, dealing with the first time the Losers confront Pennywise while they're still kids--Part 2 will deal with what happens to them as adults) for one of King's most notorious novels comes so fucking close to being perfect, yet that five-star experience slipped through my fingers…