HOO BOY, THAT IS GONNA BE A HARD NO FROM ME.

I don't really have any desire to write much about this film, because I already wasted 2.5 hours of my life on it and frankly I resent that, but this film is stupid, offensive bullshit, it's way too fucking long and a fucking mess (this thing needed a sharp, brutal editor, and apparently the two dudes who edited this trash fire were not up to the task--it's about a…

Tommy doesn't belong here at all. Why is he here? I love Tommy, don't misunderstand me. Tommy can be evil, mesmerizing, seductive. But there is no reason for him to be here. This should be Sofia Boutella's movie, and it should be rated R, and it should be dark, gothic and brooding like Johnston's Wolfman movie. It should not have horrible attempts at humor that made me grimace (Tommy is just not funny, okay, he needs to stick to stunts,…

If there's a lingering, vague sense of disappointment regarding this film lurking somewhere in my soul, it's due to the fact that the first half of Muschietti's vision (yes, this is part one of two, dealing with the first time the Losers confront Pennywise while they're still kids--Part 2 will deal with what happens to them as adults) for one of King's most notorious novels comes so fucking close to being perfect, yet that five-star experience slipped through my fingers…