Shazam! ★★½

Billy Batson/Shazam:
- stupid
- mean
- immature
- probably gets clothes from an Old Navy sale rack
- really just a horny middle schooler
- can’t outrun the police

Darla the Foster Child:
- gives lots of hugs
- literally the nicest girl on earth
- wise beyond her years
- wears $180 Warby Parker eyeglasses
- has the mind of an astrophysicist (yet has the admirable audacity to still believe in Santa)
- supports women’s rights
- killed 10 cops at stonewall

Stevie liked this review