• Top Gun

    Top Gun

    ★½

    A Jeff Stryker Porno with plane stunts…and while on all technical levels there is nothing out of place, I can’t help but feel that for a movie about the crossover of sex and military jet engines this is still so monumentally uninteresting. It’s all machismo without any soul, a film whose emptiness is diverted away by bronzed, toned torsos glowing bright orange as well as the inclusion of what is perhaps the greatest song ever recorded in the history of…

  • Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith

    Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith

    ★★★★

    “Lucas’s stature as an artist, as well as his relentlessness as an admitted ‘micromanager,’ is demonstrated by the tremendous climax of Revenge of the Sith.
    . . .
    “Fire provides a sublime elemental poetry here, as water did on the storm-swept planet of Kamino in the prior film…The seething reds and yellows of the great lava river and waterfalls (based on Niagara Falls) flood the eye. It is a vision of hell. As in Dante, there is an allegorical level:…

  • Armageddon Time

    Armageddon Time

    ★★★½

    James Gray has always been a slippery filmmaker — he is consistently lauded but you won’t find his films nominated for Oscars. You also won’t find them in the Criterion Collection or on any fashionable annual “Best Of” lists. I wouldn’t call him an overly indulgent director, but he’s certainly not a restrained one either. He often plays with genre but then makes a sharp 90 degree turn from formula. He exists in..well…a Gray zone…and even within such an odd…

  • Avatar

    Avatar

    ★★

    I always forget just how much of an abomination this is until it’s actually on…

  • Men

    Men

    Remember that time you had a creative writing assignment in high school or college and you couldn’t come up with an idea so you stay up all night just writing shit and throwing it at the wall and typing whatever comes into your head and you go into class the next morning with bags under your eyes and no sleep and a hard copy of what might be the most hodge-podge nonsensical string of words ever thrown onto a piece…

  • Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

    Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

    ★★

    Wanda did all that for two annoying ass fucking kids I’d be so embarrassed…

  • Amour

    Amour

    ★★★★½

    Some people live long enough to witness the abrupt time when the faintest glows of youth get switched off for good. My mother always called it “hitting the wall.” One day my grandmother was an able-bodied, sharp-witted older woman and the next day she was confined to a wheelchair, mentally and physically deteriorating and spending her days going back and forth between doctors and rehabs. It doesn’t happen gradually, it happens in one quick moment. In the opening minutes of…

  • Aliens

    Aliens

    ★★★★

    They hate to see a girl with a forklift license winning

  • Fiddler on the Roof

    Fiddler on the Roof

    ★★★★½

    “They are as poor as squirrels in winter but they are so happy they don’t know how miserable they are.”

  • Inland Empire

    Inland Empire

    ★★★★½

    BRUTAL FUCKING MURDER.

  • Ambulance

    Ambulance

    ★★

    Why does Garrett Dillahunt play a hard-edge police chief who drives around in a 60s-era Fiat with a gigantic bullmastiff in the passenger seat and why isn’t that what the movie is about…

  • Morbius

    Morbius

    I do trust science I trust doctors and quite frankly I’d let them put an ipod nano between my shoulder blades if it means I can get drunk at Caesar’s Palace again.