Vadim has written 12 reviews for films rated ★½ during 2013.

  • The Faculty

    The Faculty


    I "honored" this movie on the "occasion" of its 15th anniversary here. The fact that I didn't mention Robert Rodriguez's name once is hopefully an indication of the contempt I hold his mostly anonymous/terrible work in. He's a cut above Robert Luketic, but he's not even Nimród Antal.

    Anyway, if you like me being mean, you'll like this one. It's a harmless enough target.

  • Battle of the Year

    Battle of the Year


    Sight & Sound review, not online.

    This is an awful, awful movie. For some reason, this is the movie I took the most notes at this year, no joke, so let me share some choice quotes:

    • Dante Graham (Laz Alonso) recruiting washed-up alcoholic/b-boy pioneer/basketball coach Jason Blake (Josh Holloway) to coach a b-boy team: "They're only missing one thing — you"

    • Blake's response: "I ain't that guy anymore."

    • Graham's appraisal of Blake's alcoholic state: "This ain't you"


  • Closed Circuit

    Closed Circuit


    Of all the movies to have the editorial go-ahead to write 800 words on. But hey, I got to write an all-too-rare review.

  • R.I.P.D.



    "Sight & Sound," not online. Dire.

  • Grown Ups 2

    Grown Ups 2


    "Sight & Sound," not online. This gets the half-star edge just because at least Rob Schneider is gone. (Why is this, you ask? "I was in Adam Sandler's movie 'Grown Ups' (2010), and we had a great time making it and I love Adam, he's like a brother to me, but when he asked me to be in 'Grown Ups 2' (in theaters July 12), I had to turn him down. I just didn't want anything to take me away from…

  • The East

    The East


    Reviewed here, though probably not with sufficient vitriol.

  • Deadfall



    "Sight & Sound," not online. We just kind of sat there, stupefied, wondering how it could get any dumber, and somehow it did but without ever getting interesting. How's that work?

  • 21 & Over

    21 & Over


    No one needs to see this movie, but you should definitely read this article. Probably this one too. Trust me, this is important.

    Anyway, I wrote this up for Sight & Sound, so it's print only. But a bit was cut out, which I include here, about JeffChang (credited as a one-word name in the end credits), the Asian-American student (Justin Chon) who's transformed into a chastened Chinese medical student returning to the mainland in the alternate version: "Jeff Chang is…

  • Stolen



    "Sight & Sound" review, not online. Predictably dire.

  • John Dies at the End

    John Dies at the End


    "Sight & Sound" review, not online. Fuck this fanboy noise.

  • Fire with Fire

    Fire with Fire


    Seen for Sight & Sound, review not online.

  • The Round Up

    The Round Up


    Packed in as much loathing as I could here. Remember Paris 36? This is WAY WORSE THAN THAT.