So here's a TL;DR story as to why I haven't been very present on here that's only tangentially related to the movie I saw, told for the benefit of those I occasionally talk to here or those I wished I talked to more in real life:

Sometime last fall, I was watching TV. Some joke was made. It was a dirty joke and it hit me in exactly the right way. I laughed really hard. And then I blacked out.…

The remake is far less smarmy than this, and far more entertaining. The leads here are all underdeveloped caricatures. What we get are literally lounge acts, when what we want is a show-stopper.

Dean Martin and Peter Lawford probably come off the best, but all in all the personalities on display here act as if they are in on an in-joke that maybe 1960s jet set society was in on but I sure ain't.

Those I know from other things…

Breathe.

You sit down in the theater and wait and get fat off of the popcorn and watch the pre-show you've already seen twice this month thanks to The Avengers opening and you listen to the preteens behind you talking and you worry that they are going to be speaking throughout the entire fucking movie and you kind of wish you were seeing this in the States where it is restricted and at least there they might be accompanied by…

I watched this again as I prepare to go to Hawaii. I have never been there before and I think this movie makes it feel like a real place and not just some kind of paradise advertised in a travel agent shop.

This is the second time I've seen it and I had forgotten completely about the voice over. I usually am not a fan of it, but here it works. Matt King (George Clooney) is a character that for…