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Have you ever watched paint dry? Now what if it was period paint...wait that came out wrong, what if it was old style canvas oil based paint that at First glance seemed interesting to look at only to realize “oh it’s just another painting of seagulls on a seashore”, and you roll your eyes at why everyone seems to be excited by it? Welcome to The Witch...or The VVitch if you fancy yourself inventive douchebag by using two V’s, which…
You know the interesting thing about this film is Jim Jarmzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Sorry fell into a coma thinking about this one. We get it Jim, you’re cheeky and eccentric. It takes infinite amounts of talent to make both Zombies and Bill Murray uninteresting.
I recommend this movie for anyone who Likes questioning their life choices.
Picture If you will, a film so layered In both plot and character development coupled with a sense of gripping tone that defies you to not be totally encompassed in emotion through stand out performances.
Now picture the opposite of that with people under sheets miming to each other and you have this hunk of shit.
This pretentious soul sucking waste of 90 minutes (complete with Rooney Mara crying while eating a pie silently for what felt like two…