Michael Berger

I used to be “with it.” But then they changed what “it” was. Now what I’m with isn’t “it” and what’s “it” seems weird and scary to me.

Favorite films

  • Bulworth
  • Fight Club
  • American Psycho
  • Freddy Got Fingered

Recent activity

  • Love, Gilda


  • The Mafu Cage


  • Us


  • My Neighbor Totoro


Recent reviews

  • Love, Gilda

    Love, Gilda


    One of my biggest faults is that I fall in love really easily. I mean, like way too easily. I clearly remember being around 12 and an adult lady in a pantsuit held a door open for me at a grocery store and my heart skipped a beat as I thought "OH! THIS IS IIIIIIT! OOO I hope we have monogrammed towels." Why yes, I'm a child of divorce. Why do you ask?

    But one love that will never die,…

  • The Mafu Cage

    The Mafu Cage


    What a haunted and complicated film this is. The entire affair just has the look and saunter and attitude that is has SEEN some shit. Like an ER nurse's eyes. Or whoever that James Taylor Fire and Rain song was written about.

    First and foremost, this is a character study. Of sisters Ellen (Lee Grant) and Sissy (Carol Kane) and the different ways they cope with the death of their anthropologist father. Sissy goes the path less traveled and decides…

Popular reviews

  • Sniper: Special Ops

    Sniper: Special Ops

    Hey, have you ever been to a gas station and they're just completely out of hotdogs? I have. And it's always a bummer. Because I always think "Man, I just missed meeting Steven Seagal."

    Let's just talk about the man, the myth, the legend Steven Seagal for a minute here. A smarmy, ugly, condescending, ego-maniacial wad of cookie dough who has made a mint for the last TWENTY EIGHT(!!!!!) years making movies your dad loves to fall asleep in an…

  • Chairman of the Board

    Chairman of the Board

    The first scene of Chairman of the Board is Carrot Top looking back fondly on when he was born. Carrot Top (shown as a several month old baby with a red wig on) is just chilling out inside his mother’s uterus as she‘s in the hospital giving birth. There are pictures of his father (a sperm cell) hanging on her uteran walls. He has a full chemistry set that he is working on inside her vagina and by magically pouring…