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  • Evil Dead Trap

    Evil Dead Trap

    ★½

    Closest thing I can think of to a Japanese Giallo (J-iallo?) in that it's mean-spirited, unintelligible sleazy trash but it doesn't have any of the interesting lighting and the score might be the worst I've ever heard.

  • Apostle

    Apostle

    ★★★

    After the first hour and change and some really great world building and characterization (both tragic victims and real bastards), I couldn't quite tell if Apostle was looking to stay tethered to some kind of reality or was digging its heels in for a blast off into crazy town. It's a let down that it isn't bold enough to commit to either and never gets as bugfuck wild in the climax as it needed to be.

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  • Within

    Within

    ½

    Serious contender for worst movie I've ever seen. Completely, utterly incompetent editing, direction, lighting, screenwriting and basically everything except acting which manages to just scrape passable by casting a bunch actors who played tertiary characters on TV shows.

    The monster looks like a dishrag and also the zombie from Hocus Pocus so good luck ever taking it seriously. Also apparently it's a supermonster that can lasso people with what appear to be ethernet cables and perform inhuman feats of strength…

  • Gotti

    Gotti

    What if @NYCGuidoVoice was a movie?

    I knew I was in for something special when the list of studios (at least 5) and producers (at least 30) kept going and going during the opening credits. This is The Room levels of storytelling incompetence. Scenes barely connect to one another. Voiceovers and fake news reports summarize events that happened two minutes ago with the style and intonation of a wikipedia article. Entire scenes are shot like Tim and Eric sketches. The…