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  • Hereditary

    Hereditary

    ★★★★

    me during the movie: this isn't THAT scary

    me tonight at 12:30 a.m. getting up to pee: Satan is real

  • Synecdoche, New York

    Synecdoche, New York

    ★★★★★

    Like the return of locusts, I vow to only watch this movie every 13 years.