It's been a while...

I would shag:
Taron Egerton(his role is literally just standing there and its hot)
Tom Hardy(sounds like David Beckham here)
Emily Browning

the rest of the cast...ehhh its hard to say when they're all grizzled gangsters, so no not really-3.5 stars it is

There are some good and bad parts to this film, but one of the good parts is definitely the cast

I would shag:
Daisy Ridley(kinda the main draw for this movie tbh imo)
Tom Holland(also a main draw and he's shirtless in multiple scenes so do with that what you will)
Nick Jonas
Mads Mikkelsen
Cynthia Erivo(kinda forgot she was in this but yeah sure)

This is kind of old news and it's going to be a different sort of review than usual, but I still think it needs to be said

To the Variety critic who basically said Carey Mulligan isn't hot enough for this role, fuck you. That is irrelevant and stupid and misogynistic. And wrong.

I would shag:
Carey Mulligan

(The rest of the cast is hot too but that's besides the point)

5 stars for Carey. Fuck Variety.

I'm sorry in advance...

I would shag:

Lucas Hedges(and for the sole reason being that he sung something from Into the Woods-that's hot right there)
Saoirse Ronan
The Football Coach(WHAT A LEGEND)

AND THATS IT

NO TIMMY IN HERE, NO SIREE

Non-Timmy-Chalamet stans rise up

3 stars for the aforementioned hot people, held back from more because of Timothee(Sorry not sorry)