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  • Legend

    Legend

    ★★★½

    It's been a while...

    I would shag:
    Taron Egerton(his role is literally just standing there and its hot)
    Tom Hardy(sounds like David Beckham here)
    Emily Browning

    the rest of the cast...ehhh its hard to say when they're all grizzled gangsters, so no not really-3.5 stars it is

  • Chaos Walking

    Chaos Walking

    ★★★★½

    There are some good and bad parts to this film, but one of the good parts is definitely the cast

    I would shag:
    Daisy Ridley(kinda the main draw for this movie tbh imo)
    Tom Holland(also a main draw and he's shirtless in multiple scenes so do with that what you will)
    Nick Jonas
    Mads Mikkelsen
    Cynthia Erivo(kinda forgot she was in this but yeah sure)

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  • Promising Young Woman

    Promising Young Woman

    ★★★★★

    This is kind of old news and it's going to be a different sort of review than usual, but I still think it needs to be said

    To the Variety critic who basically said Carey Mulligan isn't hot enough for this role, fuck you. That is irrelevant and stupid and misogynistic. And wrong.

    I would shag:
    Carey Mulligan

    (The rest of the cast is hot too but that's besides the point)

    5 stars for Carey. Fuck Variety.

  • Lady Bird

    Lady Bird

    ★★★

    I'm sorry in advance...

    I would shag:

    Lucas Hedges(and for the sole reason being that he sung something from Into the Woods-that's hot right there)
    Saoirse Ronan
    The Football Coach(WHAT A LEGEND)

    AND THATS IT

    NO TIMMY IN HERE, NO SIREE

    Non-Timmy-Chalamet stans rise up

    3 stars for the aforementioned hot people, held back from more because of Timothee(Sorry not sorry)