• Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation

    Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation


    I have a job for you, Ethan, and for the sake of your friend you will do it.

    Honestly might be my favourite Mission Impossible movie but it could be topped by the new one as it looks so good.

  • The Mummy Returns

    The Mummy Returns


    It's only a chest. No harm ever came from opening a chest.

    Somehow the Mummy returned.*

    I'm not even sure this deserves three stars but my loyalty to The Mummy franchise is blinding my judgement.

    * I've stolen jokes from you before Adam and I'll continue to do so.

  • The Mummy

    The Mummy


    I only gamble with my life, never my money.

    Cannot understate how much this film rules and how much the sequels don't.

  • The Living Daylights

    The Living Daylights


    He met his Waterloo.

    Probably the Bond film with the laziest one-liners but the best.

    Exampli gratis: "He got the boot" when a guy falls out of a plane holding on to Bond's cargo boots.

  • The Simpsons: When Billie Met Lisa

    The Simpsons: When Billie Met Lisa


    Quality Percentage: 46%
    Enjoyability Rating: 5/10

    The Simpsons: When Billie Met Lisa (Silverman, 2022)
    ⭐⭐½ 👎

    If you give him enough beer and a pair of earplugs and then tell him that he can be in another room? No.

    Goes to show how far The Simpsons has gone and how much of a corporate and hollow shell of a show it is now.

    They've even chosen to forget that Homer was the one who bought Lisa the saxophone in…

  • The Sea Beast

    The Sea Beast


    Quality Percentage: 74%
    Enjoyability Rating: 8/10

    The Sea Beast (Williams, 2022)
    ⭐⭐⭐½ ✔

    I want to believe that, but maybe you can be a hero and still be wrong.

    It's a pretty standard and clichéd story (basically How To Train Your Sea Monster) but done well.

    Water animation is getting scarily realistic. Probably one of the key components which makes this film good.

    Also, please tell me that you were also instantly reminded of Disenchantment when the end credits began.

  • Texas Chainsaw Massacre

    Texas Chainsaw Massacre


    Quality Percentage: 57%
    Enjoyability Rating: 7/10

    Texas Chainsaw Massacre (Garcia, 2022)
    ⭐⭐½ ⚠️

    Try anything and your cancelled, bro.

    Did anyone think this would be more than just a silly horror reboot where Leatherface kills cancel culture?

    I mean, it is stupid, but it does have some nice kills and the cinematography is pretty solid.

  • Would You Rather

    Would You Rather


    Quality Percentage: 64%
    Enjoyability Rating: 7/10

    Would You Rather (Levy, 2012)
    ⭐⭐⭐ 👍

    I believe a thank you is in order?

    I'm very conflicted about this.

    On the one hand, Daniel Guy Levy impressively makes a very poignant reflection of society and classism through a very depressing film.

    On the other, I just feel like this can easily be compared to other competition horror films and Truth or Dare.

  • Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief

    Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief


    It's been a pretty tough and emotional day for me as I finished my job working in a school for the past year so I needed a comfort film to put on.

    Looking forward to the tv show. Better not fuck it up! Nah, I'm sure it will be good

  • Diary of a Wimpy Kid

    Diary of a Wimpy Kid


    I... I may be clinging on to my childhood.

  • Geostorm



    Quality Percentage: 59%
    Enjoyability Rating: 7/10

    Geostorm (Devlin, 2017)
    ⭐⭐⭐ ⚠️

    Tomorrow, the sun will rise, all our enemies will be gone. Wiped away as if by the Hand of God.

    The most mid-2000's film you'll ever see... but released in 2017.

  • RRR



    Quality Percentage: 84%
    Enjoyability Rating: 9/10

    RRR (Rajamouli, 2022)
    ⭐⭐⭐⭐ 👌

    Your friendship is more valuable than this life.

    Not that I'm saying this is unrealistic at all BUT I did see Raju in two consecutive scenes where he had suddenly grown a beard so...

    Just an insanely entertaining historic action film... and musical... and romantic drama... and buddy movie.