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  • The Natural

    The Natural

    ★★★½

    "And then when I walked down the street people would've looked and they would've said there goes Roy Hobbs, the best there ever was in this game."

    As it's played today, Major League Baseball is a grind. 162+ games, each of them at least three hours long, most of that time spent standing on the field waiting for a pitch. Highlight reels include outfielders sprinting headlong into fences, sure, but they also include Jeff Francoeur grabbing a handful of popcorn…

  • Autopsy

    Autopsy

    ★★★

    This is one of those very special movies in which every actress who appears eventually shows her breasts and every actor will either commit sexual assault, murder someone, or say something heinously misogynist.

    There are two painful-looking sex scenes, one moment in which a naked woman is pored over using a microscope, countless dead bodies with their genitals out, VERY REAL autopsy photos that will legit give you nightmares, and an Italian NASCAR race for what I have to assume…

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  • Blue Ruin

    Blue Ruin

    ★★★★

    Some critics noted that the Cleland family is largely one-dimensional and counted this as a mark against the movie. Sorry, guys, but there really are people like that and their houses are full of guns.

  • Runaway

    Runaway

    ★★½

    This is my fifth Michael Crichton directorial effort (and judging by the abysmal reviews for Physical Evidence and the relative obscurity of Pursuit, it's probably my last), and I can't say I expected anything different. Although I largely enjoy his '70s output (with the possible exception of The Great Train Robbery), his brain seems to have broken right before 1981's Looker, an exhilaratingly silly movie starring Albert Finney as "soused."

    After watching Runaway, I looked up when his children were…

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  • Häxan

    Häxan

    ★★★★

    "During the witchcraft era it was dangerous to be old and ugly, but it was not safe to be young and pretty either."

    Essentially a movie about the difficulty of being a woman in the presence of men. The most illuminating sequence begins with a heartbroken woman exclaiming that her husband's sickness must have been caused by witchcraft. Multiple women are brought in, tortured, and forced to make fictional confessions to religious authorities. Eventually, the blame rides all the way…

  • Dead & Buried

    Dead & Buried

    ★★★★

    "I'm dead, Dan. Please bury me."

    This. THIS.

    I've been waiting to watch this movie for almost a decade (ever since spotting it on the Video Nasties list), but I was sure it would disappoint.

    This is not the slow-moving, dialogue-heavy, been-dere-done-dat zombie movie some reviewers have suggested it is. This is an incredibly atmospheric, EC Comics-inspired, genuinely scary late-nite hide-under-the-covers creepfest featuring incredible gore effects by Stan Winston and two great performances from James Farentino and Jack Albertson.

    I…