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  • Goon: Last of the Enforcers

    Goon: Last of the Enforcers

    ★★★

    “Holy shit on Mary’s tits”

    The Goon guys are back, the Halifax Highlanders have returned and so has their legendary enforcer, Doug “The Thug” Glatt. This time, a new batch of characters arrive too to expand the Gooniverse and provide the team with more obstacles to overcome in their rise to the top of the minors. The band are back together, and after the sleeper success of the original, there’s no doubt Last of the Enforcers would be a riot.…

  • Goon

    Goon

    ★★★★

    “This isn’t baseball…!” - Too right it’s not.

    Man, I love hockey. First game was October 5th 1996 at the Mellon Arena (the booby), Pittsburgh, watching the Pens go down 4-3 to the Tampa Bay Lightning. Witnessing the sight of (baby-faced) Jaromir Jagr, Ron Francis and Le Magnifique, Mario Lemieux, in full flight was something else. Been a fan ever since.

    Great hockey movies are few and far between. For every Slap Shot, Miracle and The Mighty Ducks there’s a…

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  • The Emoji Movie

    The Emoji Movie

    Sigh.

    This is 2017.

    A movie has been made starring the faces and icons of popular messaging apps.

    Yes, it is shit.

    As I couldn’t find an emoji depicting me getting shot in the face, I’ll continue with the review.


    This is no bandwagon review.


    The story follows the ‘meh’ emoji, known as Gene (Miller), as he is thrown to the scrapheap for not being ‘meh’ enough. You see, Gene can’t contain his emotions and can transform into various…

  • Transformers: The Last Knight

    Transformers: The Last Knight

    ★½

    My head hurts from all the banging, shouting, clanking, explosions, horrific dialogue…

    The fifth installment in the current cinematic Transformers universe, The Last Knight is set three years after the events of the previous movie, not including the flashbacks to 484 AD Saxon times. Yep. Back to King Arthur’s times. Turns out that Arthur’s victory over the Saxons was due to Merlin coaxing an ancient Transformer group into becoming a dragon and killing the Saxon forces – all thanks to…