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  • Mortal Kombat

    Mortal Kombat

    Opening arc of a shonen anime building up to a tournament arc and lazily introducing characters, but simultaneously condensing it into a two hour movie and making every beat feel eternal. Decent choreography done dirty by horrendous filmmaking & acting. Awful.

    Has no sense of humor, even its attempts at quips and one-liners feel excessively forced like the worst kind of Whedon knock-off. There’s no weight to anything that happens in it. It’s just characters being introduced and their powers and…

  • Gigi

    Gigi

    ★★★½

    okay fine i was wrong about GIGI a decade ago and despite my feeling that it still doesn’t totally work narratively nearly as well as MY FAIR LADY it’s actually a rather charming little movie in great part because of minnelli’s skill as a filmmaker and also delightful musically

    also a good example of a stage production losing its charm as opposed to a film. nothing in the broadway production from five years ago was half as dazzling as what the film offers. it really manages to sell you on a premise that isn’t especially unique simply by being enchanting

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  • Green Book

    Green Book

    ★★

    English teachers everywhere are gonna bust a nut when this hits home video because it’s an absolute wet dream of a “movie to show to my class that deals with Serious Issues in a non-confrontational and palatable way when I don’t have a lesson plan.”

  • Heartstone

    Heartstone

    ★★★½

    I wanna watch an entire movie about the artistic sister who writes poetry about death and has what I assume is the best decorated room in all of Iceland.