Favorite films

  • Hesher
  • The Sacrifice
  • Mirror
  • Premium Rush

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  • Starchaser: The Legend of Orin

    ★★½

  • Guncrazy

    ★★

  • On the Count of Three

    ★★★½

  • Top Gun: Maverick

    ★★★★

Recent reviews

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  • Starchaser: The Legend of Orin

    Starchaser: The Legend of Orin

    this star-wars ripoff somehow manages to be a hornier animated version than both the holiday special and battle for endor combined.

    i’m convinced the name steven hahn is actually just a pseudonym george lucas used to put a random south korean animation studio to work for some sort of money laundering scheme that none of us can fully comprehend yet. the new york times music collaborate with starlog magazine to get down to the bottom of this.

    young boy leaves…

  • Guncrazy

    Guncrazy

    tamra davis of billy madison, half baked and (most importantly) cb40 fame directed this borderline made-for-tv vibin’ afterschool special about the dangers (or highlights?) of having a prison pen pal.

    maybe not barrymore’s finest hour but this 90’s manic pixie serial killin’ dream girl is kinda fun to watch. 

    equally fun seeing early performances from character actors like james le gros and jeremy davis.

    so if you enjoy seeing blatant true romance ripoffs that with an extra layer of 90’s cheese…

Popular reviews

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  • No Time to Die

    No Time to Die

    ★★★★

    consider me shocked.

    not because cary joji fukunaga couldn’t handle a bond film, his filmography has lead me to believe that he’s not only a fantastic director but someone who truly knows how to make a story sing. no, i’m just a little shocked that he and his team managed to salvage the narrative mess that was spectre into something both thrilling, absolutely fun (an entire sequence in cuba with ana de armes had me smiling from secret earpiece to…

  • Spider-Man: No Way Home

    Spider-Man: No Way Home

    ★★★★★

    it’s the greatest movie ever made so now i can finally take off my 35-year-old unwashed spidey pajamies, move out of the unregulated sectioned-off basement apartment i can barely afford, turn off my gaming computer that i’ve spent tens of thousands of dollars on (money i should have probably instead spent on new clothes, a hair cut, a gym membership, decent healthy food and a few dates), stop talking about comic book movies on twitter/4chan/tiktok/instagram and just go outside and…