I have come here to eat pie and watch movies. And I’m all out of pie.
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Godzilla: King of the Monsters 2019
One day, in kindergarten, I pooped my pants right before recess and was afraid to tell anyone, and I tried going on the slide but the poop in my pants made it so I couldn’t slide down, and the other kids behind me on the slide were confused and upset with me, and I was sad and embarrassed and had to scoot down the slide bit by bit while pretending there was a rational non-poop-related explanation for why my butt…
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Wrath of Man 2021
Alternate title: Dumb Heat (2021)
What a mess. This was clearly written by three 12 year old boys and a Glock disguised as a fourth boy.
Plays like an extended trailer for a much longer version of itself.
Josh Hartnett is great as Boy Sweat Dave though.
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Talk Radio 1988
An extremely well directed piece of shit that gradually and unintentionally devolves into self parody.
Nothing anyone does or says in this movie makes any sense or means anything or has any grounding in reality. No human person acts like these people. It’s as if the movie was written by aliens.
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Ryan's Daughter 1970
Flawed, but still a masterpiece.
I assume God was an uncredited producer on this movie, because otherwise I can’t explain how David Lean got the weather and the sky and the ocean to do the things they did exactly when he needed them done.