Ryan Grove

I have come here to eat pie and watch movies. And I’m all out of pie.

Favorite films

  • Lawrence of Arabia
  • Brief Encounter
  • Brazil
  • Miller's Crossing

Recent activity

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  • Wrath of Man

    ★★

  • Dark Star

    ★★★★

  • Lightyear

    ★★★½

  • The TV Set

    ★★★

Pinned reviews

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  • Godzilla: King of the Monsters

    Godzilla: King of the Monsters

    One day, in kindergarten, I pooped my pants right before recess and was afraid to tell anyone, and I tried going on the slide but the poop in my pants made it so I couldn’t slide down, and the other kids behind me on the slide were confused and upset with me, and I was sad and embarrassed and had to scoot down the slide bit by bit while pretending there was a rational non-poop-related explanation for why my butt…

  • Tenet

    Tenet

    Watching Tenet made me retroactively hate every other Christopher Nolan movie. Which, if you think about it, is pretty brilliant.

Recent reviews

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  • Wrath of Man

    Wrath of Man

    ★★

    Alternate title: Dumb Heat (2021)

    What a mess. This was clearly written by three 12 year old boys and a Glock disguised as a fourth boy.

    Plays like an extended trailer for a much longer version of itself.

    Josh Hartnett is great as Boy Sweat Dave though.

  • Dark Star

    Dark Star

    ★★★★

    “I do not like the men on this spaceship. They are uncouth and fail to appreciate my better qualities.”

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  • Talk Radio

    Talk Radio

    ★★

    An extremely well directed piece of shit that gradually and unintentionally devolves into self parody.

    Nothing anyone does or says in this movie makes any sense or means anything or has any grounding in reality. No human person acts like these people. It’s as if the movie was written by aliens.

  • Ryan's Daughter

    Ryan's Daughter

    ★★★★

    Flawed, but still a masterpiece.

    I assume God was an uncredited producer on this movie, because otherwise I can’t explain how David Lean got the weather and the sky and the ocean to do the things they did exactly when he needed them done.