One day, in kindergarten, I pooped my pants right before recess and was afraid to tell anyone, and I tried going on the slide but the poop in my pants made it so I couldn’t slide down, and the other kids behind me on the slide were confused and upset with me, and I was sad and embarrassed and had to scoot down the slide bit by bit while pretending there was a rational non-poop-related explanation for why my butt wasn’t interacting with the slide the way a normal non-poopy butt should, and after recess my teacher figured out what had happened through a combination of using her nose and following the trail of little bits of poop that had started falling down my pant legs onto the floor, and she called my mom and asked her to come pick me up.

That day had more redeeming qualities than this movie.