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  • Alligator

    Alligator

    ★★★★

    I love this movie, the screenplay by John Sayles just goes. Even the goofy stuff thrown in for extra flavour is entertaining.

    Alligator doesn't fuck around; it gets in, gives you some alligator carnage, and zips away. I love when movies do that.

  • One Dark Night

    One Dark Night

    ★★½

    ok what if an evil genius telekinetic dude terrorizes some teens by reanimating corpses in a mausoleum from beyond the grave????!

    someone else I guess: "hm ok but add a lady in a room listening to a tape"

    uhh

    S.E.I.G.: "what about a guy driving around endlessly let's do that too"

    no stop

    S.E.I.G.: "it's ok the last 13 min will be gnarly"

    ayyyyyy dope!

  • Sometimes They Come Back

    Sometimes They Come Back

    ★★★½

    that hokey 90s horror thriller aesthetic is my jam so even tho this is not great I still pretty much loved it

  • Spider-Man: Homecoming

    Spider-Man: Homecoming

    ★★★½

    That was fun but I've already forgotten most of it.

  • Patchwork

    Patchwork

    I was really rooting for this movie there for a while, but it lost me with the "three personalities in one, so I guess they eat steak with marshmallows and other random items at the same time" schitck.

    Groan.

  • Werewolf

    Werewolf

    Watched sans MST3K; UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHFGHFGHFHHHJJFJHDHFJJJJJJJJDHDHDJ this sucks.

  • Tales from the Hood

    Tales from the Hood

    ★★★★½

    This. This is fuckin' cinema man. I loved Tales from the Hood through and through, and I'm really kicking myself for having waited so long to finally watch it. Easily one of my favourite anthology horror films now.

  • After Midnight

    After Midnight

    ★★★

    After Midnight is a fair anthology horror film with three stories that kinda feel like mediocre episodes of a television anthology that never existed.

    Things open promisingly, but all three tales are just merely fine - they all stack up comparatively in quality but that just means the rollercoaster doesn't dip or soar.

    Certainly worth checking out and I'm glad Scream Factory is giving this one a second life - plus it's not nearly as bad as some reviews here make it out to be.

  • Black Scorpion

    Black Scorpion

    ★★½

    Slightly unsatisfying combination of campy superhero fun with New Horizons skin flick production values.

    Seems to be half-in on its own joke - I mean, the villain is called The Breathtaker and his henchmen include asthmatic dudes and there's a female wrestling duo running around stealing jewelery. But, it takes long to warm up to the fun and seems to take other elements of the plot seriously in ways that drag the fun down.

    Thankfully, the script plays up the…

  • Bloodmoon

    Bloodmoon

    ★★★★

    Awesome wire-fu peppered action, crime scene magic, a silly villain with robot fingers, and Gary Daniels.

    This movie has it all!!!

  • Amityville: It's About Time

    Amityville: It's About Time

    ★★★

    The sister in this movie totally Under The Skin'd a dude!!

    Amityville: It's About Time is ridiculous in all the ways you want a 90s sequel to be. I had a lot of fun with this one. Plus it's about an evil clock so what are you waiting for?

  • Creepshow

    Creepshow

    ★★★★

    Listen, I still love this movie for sure but daaamn it's too long.

    The set-up for Something To Tide You Over goes on forevERRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrr