Oh John Wick "reloads" because it's more "realistic"? Tequila doesn't do that stupid shit. Tequila is unbound by the laws of nature and lesser men. He's God's chosen soldier. He's so good at being the police. When you're that good at police God gives you the infinite ammo perk and i-frames on dives and rolls. And he's using it to save babies. Like 100 babies. And he's gay for Tony Leung. And so am I. How could you not be?…
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Cure 1997
Makes you feel like everything you know about humans and brains and behavior might be wrong. Makes you feel insane. Makes staring at something for too long in your room feel scary. Makes you feel like maybe you don't know yourself at all, because you won't be honest with yourself. Makes you feel like movies are dangerous. Makes you feel like you should be careful what you watch, read, listen to, think about, because it might change you, permanently, imperceptibly.…
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Ambulance 2022
God damn this shit rocks
I really loved The Rock (1996) to Ambulance pipeline. They obviously reference The Rock in this movie and while I love that movie, I realized after watching Ambulance that I didn't know who directed it, and its like of course Michael Bay made The Rock. The Rock and Ambulance have the exact same politics. This kind of misty eyed reverence for an America that doesn't exist anymore (and shouldn't). This kind of love for defunct…
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Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny 2023
Another fine addition to the currently exploding genre "75 year old who can beat up any man and fuck any woman
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Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves 2023
Yes! Yes!! More!!!
I can forgive the marvel-level dialogue and the leaning on humor over sincerity to a detrimental end because this shit rocks! Poor character development for almost everyone, especially Doric, who spoke so little and had so little personality I kept forgetting she was in the movie, and certainly much of the dialogue in general was a little hammy for me, but all that aside this knocked it out of the park as a super fun and fairly…