Ritual ★★★★★

for as long as i can remember, i find it hard accepting the fact i’m lonely. it scares me. 
i keep trying to find distractions, whether it’s constantly checking all of my social apps, randomly calling and chatting with people i haven’t spoken to in weeks, or even constantly consuming different kinds of media. i don’t want to face it, i don’t want to face the fact i am just a tiny little fraction in a world so big it’s weird to think how suffocating it can get. i do not feel unloved because i acknowledge those who care for me, but i feel like i don’t have too many people to give all my love to. 
so i’m stuck. sitting in my room, finding the next distraction, fighting the sadness and the bursting emotions and going through one more day. tomorrow will get better - but it doesn’t. 

so my main takeout from this film is to stop waiting for tomorrow and start making today better. so what if i’m alone? i should embrace the loneliness and cherish the quiet moments.

She is looking for a sign, a purpose to keep her going. for now - it’s her birthday, but it could be any other detail which she’s longing to touch. i don’t think there’s ever been a film character as raw and relatable as she is, as bizzare as her behavior gets anno manages to present us a beautiful wounded soul. and for that i will forever be thankful to him. thank you for making this film. just remember, it gets better. 

Happy Birthday.

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