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  • Criminal Activities

    Criminal Activities

    ★★

    Calling this a Pulp Fiction ripoff is giving Criminal Activities too much credit. It's more like a ripoff of Pulp Fiction's hack imitators. John Travolta is in maybe five scenes and his hairline looks drawn on in every one of them.

    Presents itself as a crime thriller but consists mostly of long, dull conversations punctuated by pointless f-bombs. How else are you supposed to know that these fuckin' dudebros are tough fuckin' guys involved with the fuckin' mob and they…

  • Speed Kills

    Speed Kills

    ★½

    A Facebook boomer meme adapted into a feature.

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  • Time to Die

    Time to Die

    ★★★★

    #1 in The Mexican Cinephile’s Canon


    For someone who is both a cinephile and a second generation Mexican-American, my knowledge of Mexican film is embarrassingly slim. I set out to change this by compiling a long list of films that deal directly with Mexico and Mexican people. It'll take me years but I'm determined to watch, review, and contextualize as many of these films as possible.

    While putting together my list, no director stood out to me more than Arturo Ripstein. The…

  • The Bachelors

    The Bachelors

    ★½

    Sick and tired of having to watch countless movies to get your fill of indie cliches? Well worry no more! The Bachelors was made just for you, crammed to the brim with every tired cliche under the sun.

    Depressed recently widowed dad?
    Check.

    Love interest who's angsty about her parents divorcing?
    Check.

    Jock bully that repeatedly screws said love interest before our protagonist gets to so much as touch her boob?
    You bet your sweet ass.

    This last point is…