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  • Who Killed Captain Alex?

    Who Killed Captain Alex?

    "Nice bums!"

  • Night of the Living Dead

    Night of the Living Dead


    Hooptober 5 (2018) - #7

    Even though it's a more than a classic, the beginning of an entire horror genre, I don't revisit this often. When I do, I find it still feels special, even after the zombie menace has seen so many permutations in the years since. It’s simple and sparse and bleak in a way that’s arresting: one house, one truck, one gun, six people, one horde of the undead.

    Within that small context it explores the fledgling…

  • Unfriended: Dark Web

    Unfriended: Dark Web


    Hooptober 5 (2018) - #17

    A slave to its format, which is no longer a novelty, this wanders into hazy technical territory and weaves a narrative that puzzles without frightening, and makes a distracting mess in the process.

  • Shadow of the Vampire

    Shadow of the Vampire


    Hooptober 5 (2018) - #15

    "Oh. The script girl. I'll eat her later."

    Look, I could watch Dafoe literally chew up the scenery all night, but unfortunately this movie is also full of bad accents, absurd dialogue, and a crisis re: whether it's horror, comedy, or neither. Like if Mel Brooks directed a giallo while having a stroke.

  • Revenge



    Hooptober 5 (2018) - #8

    Exquisite, brutal, and hot. Sweat, fire, bullets, dirt, and blood. Misogyny is a perfectly honed weapon against itself.

  • eXistenZ



    Hooptober 5 (2018) - #6

    "What is that? Some kind of big bug?"

    Thirteen year old me would've absolutely adored this, and it's a shame he missed out. He was a total sucker for these late 90s VR movies.

    It hasn't aged really well, the techno-cheese is heavy, and there are obviously some other problems, but let's just appreciate what Cronenberg did here to make virtual reality tech weird and gross and highly sexual all at the same time. Always lube your bioports before jacking in, kids.

    And where is Willem Dafoe's Oscar?

  • Jason X

    Jason X

    Hooptober 5 (2018) - #10

    "We love premarital sex!"

    One star just for the way old J dispatches the blonde doctor lady right after his nap. Before he even has coffee. What a pro!

    It turns out everyone in the space future is super greedy / horny and wears artsy sweaters (knitted by some unseen space nana?). Most of the kills are unceremonious, the overused digital effects are heinous (the budget presumably consumed by sweater design), and the blatant ripoffs of decent sci-fi franchises are cringey. I really can't blame Mr. Voorhees for his unflinching drive to put an end to this nonsense.

  • What We Do in the Shadows

    What We Do in the Shadows


    Hooptober 5 (2018) - #5

    "Just leave me to do my dark bidding on the internet!"

    A treasure. The reality show production style and convincing effects lend this an authenticity that perfectly sells the silliness along with the emotional weight that grounds it.

    Plus the jokes just never stop.

  • The Blackcoat's Daughter

    The Blackcoat's Daughter


    Hooptober 5 (2018) - #2

    All eerie mood and calculated understatement, this intimated a depth and nuance it couldn’t deliver on. Nice performances, but maybe more memorable as a short.

  • The Vanishing

    The Vanishing


    Hooptober 5 (2018) - #9

    I was not prepared for this, and it left a mark.

    A uniquely poignant foray into the nature of human psychosis and evil that feels fresh even all these years later in an era enamored with true crime stories.

    If a sociopathic monster can look normal and act normal, can lead a seemingly normal life and go home to normal family, how faint is the line between good and evil? How can you know when…

  • Winchester



    Hooptober 5 (2018) - #4

    The recipe for this movie:

    1 part weird true story
    1 part predictable plot
    2 parts exposition
    1 part cheap digital compositing
    1 part cool interiors
    1 part Helen Mirren for some reason

    Mix well, undercook. Sprinkle with ironic gun violence, serve without booze.

  • The Mothman Prophecies

    The Mothman Prophecies


    Hooptober 5 (2018) - #3

    Ah, definitive 90s Richard Gere. Fortyish, gray-haired, affable, chasing that elusive West Virginia cryptid and his own demons while doing his part to convince us that Laura Linney’s small town cop needs his help with mothmen or anything else.

    I’m not sure exactly what keeps this movie so tame, but it never gets under my skin the way it seems designed to. Maybe it tries to do too much with too little, wanting to get…