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  • Black Panther

    Black Panther

    I am absolutely exhausted by superhero movies at this point and while there are some that I’ve been able to enjoy in recent memory—Logan, Guardians of the Galaxy, Thor: Ragnarok—they are few and far between. This film received good praise, so I decided to give it a go, but I turned it off after thirty minutes. Nothing grabbed me and it all seemed like more of the same. Like with Wonder Woman, and several other examples, I cannot understand what…

  • Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

    Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

    Something being cliché is not necessarily bad (or possible to avoid - nor an unwanted thing), but when a film is not good 'enough', its clichés quickly become grating. Being cliché is something that needs to be earned by a film. It goes without saying that Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them is horribly cliché (the buddy in the buddy storyline, the unearned romance(s) - especially with the kiss in the rain, the happy ending, the antagonists, to name…

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  • The Great Gatsby

    The Great Gatsby

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    In the late 1990s Peter Jackson took it upon himself to transfer The Lord of the Rings from ink and paper to colour and motion, and still do it justice, a seemingly impossible task due to the length, originality, and sheer complexity and scope of Tolkien’s work. Surprisingly however, the final product of Jackson and his team’s labour is often deemed faithful to the original vision of Tolkien, which is interesting as it is not faithful to its source in…

  • Ready Player One

    Ready Player One

    I've noticed that there don't seem to be any porno movies
    that are made for guys like me.

    These aren't real women. They're objects.
    And these movies aren't erotic. They're pathetic.
    These vacuum-headed fuck bunnies don't turn me on.
    They disgust me.
    And it's not that I'm against pornography.
    I mean, I'm a guy. And guys need porn.
    Fact.
    "Like a preacher needs pain, like a needle needs a vein,"
    Guys need porn.

    In my kind of porno movies the…