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  • Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

    Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

    Something being cliché is not necessarily bad (or possible to avoid - nor an unwanted thing), but when a film is not good 'enough', its clichés quickly become grating. Being cliché is something that needs to be earned by a film. It goes without saying that Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them is horribly cliché (the buddy in the buddy storyline, the unearned romance(s) - especially with the kiss in the rain, the happy ending, the antagonists, to name…

  • The Disaster Artist

    The Disaster Artist

    ★★★

    I'll start by stating that I am a big fan of The Room and I laughed a lot during this film, but I can't help but feel a bit disappointed. I think this is a good film and Franco's love of Tommy Wiseau and his work is clear, but it is not a great film (it's no Ed Wood). Greg Sestero's and Tom Bissel's The Disaster Artist is a wonderful book, and this film fails to capture much of its…

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  • The Great Gatsby

    The Great Gatsby

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    In the late 1990s Peter Jackson took it upon himself to transfer The Lord of the Rings from ink and paper to colour and motion, and still do it justice, a seemingly impossible task due to the length, originality, and sheer complexity and scope of Tolkien’s work. Surprisingly however, the final product of Jackson and his team’s labour is often deemed faithful to the original vision of Tolkien, which is interesting as it is not faithful to its source in…

  • Ready Player One

    Ready Player One

    I've noticed that there don't seem to be any porno movies
    that are made for guys like me.

    These aren't real women. They're objects.
    And these movies aren't erotic. They're pathetic.
    These vacuum-headed fuck bunnies don't turn me on.
    They disgust me.
    And it's not that I'm against pornography.
    I mean, I'm a guy. And guys need porn.
    Fact.
    "Like a preacher needs pain, like a needle needs a vein,"
    Guys need porn.

    In my kind of porno movies the…