• Blue Lagoon: The Awakening

    Blue Lagoon: The Awakening

    ★½

    This was a movie of NPCs. I would have such bad separation anxiety if I spent three months with someone on a deserted island and then was just separated in like two seconds. 

    Anyways what the hell were everyone’s reactions when they came back. I don’t even think I understand they’re own reactions? 

    I need to stop trying to analyse this movie.


    Oh how I wish they just stayed on the island that would’ve been way more fun.

  • Leap Year

    Leap Year

    ★★★★

    This movie was an absolute shit show. It was the whitest most heterosexual thing ever and I watched a movie about the American military today. 


    This was gloriously horrendous.

  • Purple Hearts

    Purple Hearts

    Their small amount of chemistry did not warrant them still being married despite their VAST political disagreements. This was the most pro and anti American military movie to ever exist. 

    This combined with the fact that I don’t like how Sofia Carson sings did not make this an enjoyable experience. 

    Peaches was great tho. I’d watch a movie about her.

  • Persuasion

    Persuasion

    ★★

    DAKOTA JOHNSON HAD MORE CHEMISTRY WITH HER COUSIN. 

    WHERE WAS THE PINING. THE GLANCES. THE H A N D S. this was not a period drama… Jane Austen is rolling in her grave


    Also someone commented that Dakota Johnson has the face of a woman who has seen an iPhone and nothing will ever be truer.

  • Just Like Heaven

    Just Like Heaven

    ★★½

    This was fine until the last act… that was weird

  • Obi-Wan Kenobi

    Obi-Wan Kenobi

    ★★★★

    Episode 6

  • Obi-Wan Kenobi

    Obi-Wan Kenobi

    ★★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Episode 5 

    I cried when I saw Hayden as Anakin again. Just so many tears. Vader is my favourite character in all of Stat Wars so this episode was just everything I needed. I am SUPER hyped for the finale now. 

    I had very very few nitpicks with the episode but with the exception of episode 4 this is TOP tier Star Wars content.

  • Shrek 2

    Shrek 2

    ★★★★½

    This is so close to perfect. It’s just perfect.

  • Mamma Mia!

    Mamma Mia!

    ★★★½

    Yes. I saw this again.

  • Obi-Wan Kenobi

    Obi-Wan Kenobi

    ★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Episode 4 

    After how amazing the first three episodes were, this was honestly quite underwhelming. I don’t even fully know how to properly explain what went wrong but something just felt off with this one. 

    This episode would have been the perfect moment for a clone wars flashback given Kenobi was in the Bacta tank but I seriously doubt wether it’s going to happen or not. 

    There were some unintentionally hilarious moments. This episode was truly proof of just how…

  • Ella Enchanted

    Ella Enchanted

    ★★★½

    Just fun. 

  • Top Gun: Maverick

    Top Gun: Maverick

    ★★★★½

    93 

    One of the most positive representations of masculinity I have seen. I could probably write an essay on the brilliant presentation of male friendship, subtle feminism (I have a long explanation of this), and the portrayal of grief and PTSD but then this would be far too long. Instead I’ll say this: 

    I have always liked action movies and found a lot of entertainment in but Top Gun Maverick is a genuinely great movie. From the acting, to the…