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  • 8 Million Ways to Die

    8 Million Ways to Die

    ★★★

    This is a notorious flop, the kind of movie people call a "turkey" and Hal Ashby's last film before his career and life entered its final tailspin, but I never dreamed a Hollywood crime drama (based on a novel by Lawrence The God Block and written by Oliver Stone fer chrissakes!) could be this much of a mess. Many of the dialogue scenes, if you can call this dialogue, are composed of endlessly circuitous profanity that is admittedly very similar…

  • Quick Change

    Quick Change

    ★★★★★

    "the Edisons will have better sex than they've had since Altamont"

    Shoutout to mbs

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  • Creed

    Creed

    ★★★★½

    The truest scene in this movie is when Adonis is sitting on the stoop outside the gym and a kid on a motorbike comes up to him and goes "I heard you were Apollo Creed's son" and Adonis is like "yeah," and the kid goes "that's what's up" and does a wheelie.

  • Stoker

    Stoker

    ★★★★½

    Does for belts, sand castles, staircases, pianos, pencils, pencil sharpeners, ice cream, freezers, phone booths, shoes, duck hunts, dinner, garden shears, shovels, metronomes, and showers what Psycho did for showers.