• White Rock

    White Rock

    ★★★★

    The actual Olympics footage here, shot in gorgeous Panavision that makes it look more like a feature film than documentary, is dazzling, but the real reason to watch is James Coburn putting his body on the line to demonstrate a variety of winter sports. He goaltends, he bobsleds, he skis, he shoots, and more, sometimes while delivering the merits and technical details of each activity in precise but florid detail. He's probably working harder here than any movie star ever worked on a movie.

  • Hansel and Gretel

    Hansel and Gretel

    ★★★

    A 'Cannon Movie Tale' that feels basically like a padded-out Fairy Tale Theatre episode, with a few annoying songs and an unhinged Cloris Leachman performance as witch Griselda. They should have let Tobe Hooper direct this.

  • Going Places

    Going Places

    ★★★

    Me watching this movie: this is vile, disgusting, offensive, and wrong.

    Me watching a remake of this movie starring Donald Sutherland and Elliott Gould: this is awesome.

  • Prey

    Prey

    ★★★★½

    Almost unbelievably cool from start to finish, and understands an often-missed aspect of the original movie, that Arnold beats the Predator by outsmarting him (not something he got to do on screen very often I'm afraid). What a travesty that this isn't being released in theaters.

  • Living Together

    Living Together

    ★★★½

    A truly miserable but compelling depiction of a disintegrating relationship that never really seems that great in the first place. Makes all of Godard's explorations of that same subject matter seem like entertaining lies, which might have been the intention.

  • Nemesis

    Nemesis

    ★★★★★

    All Cops Are Machines

    Got to host this Weird Wednesday presentation solo, an exciting event for yours truly. It was decently attended and the crowd seemed pretty into it. And why shouldn't they be? Superlatively crafted cyberpulp noir mayhem, every action scene kills, and even the (admittedly somewhat involved) expository scenes have a certain paranoid charm.

  • Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace

    Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace

    "I've become the chip!"

    Not much to recommend this one I'm sorry to say, outside of its cyberpunk future LA (what year is this supposed to be?) and Matt Frewer doing a supervillainous variant on Max Headroom. The kind of movie that squares its hero and villain off against each other in a virtual reality cyberspace environment where anything can happen and they just awkwardly clank swords for a couple minutes.

  • Orgy of the Dead

    Orgy of the Dead

    Totally one-of-a-kind slab of Ed Wood sexotica. Would love to watch this with a crowd, particularly one with the intellectual capacity to fully appreciate the wisdom of Criswell.

  • The One

    The One

    ★★★½

    Nu-metal and The Matrix loom large over what is otherwise old fashioned sci-fi pulp, you can almost imagine that this is based on a decades old science fiction story like Mimic or The Thing were even though it isn't. A weirdly overqualified cast too, where else can you see Delroy Lindo as a "multiverse agent"? Almost as much fun as it was when I was 14.

  • Once Upon a Time in China

    Once Upon a Time in China

    ★★★★½

    The Fastest Man Alive

  • Pierre and Cottage Cheese

    Pierre and Cottage Cheese

    ★★★½

    The Inspector is inexplicably paired with a mechanical Charlie Chan duplicate to catch fugitive crook Dirty Pierre Le Punk, basically a setup for a series of mildly amusing Road Runner esque gags with Inspector in the Wile E. Coyote role and the mostly offscreen Pierre filling in for RR.

  • Heavy Metal 2000

    Heavy Metal 2000

    ★★★

    Enjoyably trashy update of the Heavy Metal franchise with plenty of dated CGI animation, (probably) shittier music, and one big softcore space opera plot instead of the first film's anthology format. Lots of nipple rings.